


A Mutiny We've Come to Feel

by lachingona



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Child Abandonment, Custody Battle, F/F, Heavy Angst, Idk ill prolly add more later, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Spinel deserves happiness, here we go yall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2020-11-08 03:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20828474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lachingona/pseuds/lachingona
Summary: The girl shifts again, rubbing a hand behind her neck, "Er, I wanted to know if...if Pia Diamond lived here?"Her voice has a slight accent to it Steven can't quite place, but he cocks his head at her question. She's looking for his mom. And she knows her real name. How does she know her at all? "Who's asking?""Me," The girl says defiantly, standing just a bit straighter, "I-I'm her daughter."Human Au - The Diamonds are battling for custody of their grandson, but a certain stranger interferes with their plans.





	1. Splitting Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. new human au i wanted to try. i've had this story in my drafts ever since the movie came out, bc Spinel's backstory felt like a teen-mom-abandons-child kinda thing and ik a lot of people made that connection. so here's my version lmao. 
> 
> Title's from Lisa Hannigan's "Fall." 
> 
> Enjoy.

"_We would like sole custody of Steven." _

The room grew eerily silent at the confession. Shocked stares swapping between confused family members, desperately trying to make sense of the words that had just fled the woman's lips. But Jaune, confrontational and upfront as always, was quick to explain themselves at their addled expressions, "Our job requires us to move the business across the country, then after some time, _out_ of the country."

Garnet's eyebrows pinched together, arms crossing over her chest, "And you want to take him with you?"

Jaune nods.

Steven's newly discovered grandmother's had arrived on special terms just this morning, hesitant but set on telling him life-changing news. Steven was excited to see them again, as usual, despite them being overly affectionate and coddling him every second of the day. His mother's side of the family were like that; odd, but interesting, yet known throughout the country as powerful women. Steven couldn't believe he was _related_ to them.

Some days, like today, he wished he wasn't.

"_Wh-What_?" Steven's face fell. A wave of anxiety rushed over him, goose-bumps prickling his flesh. He must have misheard them, that _couldn't_ have been what they said.

His father took the news no better, as did Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst. The only conncetion they had to Rose, the boy that had carved his way into their hearts, who'd practically become their own _child_...and they wanted to _take_ _him away? _

"_No," _Greg cried out immediately, face twisted in despair, "Are you insane? Steven's _my_ _son, _you-you guys can't just do that!"

"Yeah, that's crazy!" Amethyst piped in, slaming her hands down into the dining room table. _Were the Diamonds out of their minds?_

"We were hoping to discuss this _civilly_ and _professionally_." Jaune cuts in, glaring quite coldly at the both of them. A narrowed look to Garnet and Pearl also have them remain quiet, depsite their obvious desire to speak up. "Our work has given us little time for Steven, and we'd think it'd be in his best interest if he were to spend some time with us."

Jaune's wife, Blue, nods beside her, hands clasped together, "Yes. We would miss you terribly if we were to leave so far, Steven. It wouldn't be fair to us if we couldn't contact you everyday."

"It wouldn't be fair to my family if I just left them!" Steven argued back, fingers running through his hair, "You guys can just call me! Or-Or we could face-time?" He tries, his hands gesturing wildly. "I can even come visit during holidays."

With a soft hum, Steven's great-grandmother, Diana, shook her head, "It's not just that, Steven." She met his warm eyes, hers like a sheet of ice creeping before him. Her stare had never exactly been tender. "You are the heir to this empire. I have had only Jaune to give it to, and then it was to become Pink's. But, because she's gone now, it all comes down to you." She explained bluntly, her nails clicking against the desk beside her. Steven had deduced it to be a nervous habit.

"Though, we _would_ miss you greatly too." She smiled. An awkward twist of her lips that attempted to be kind, not use to the act completely. Steven grimaced. He loved his family, his _entire _family. He knew the Diamond's were trying their hardest to better themselves for him. They were progressing quite fast, but did slip up here and there. It was hard to break old habits, break cycles of manipulation and abuse that followed a family. However, Steven believed in them. And they were showing him that he made the right choice in welcoming them into his life. But _this _was too far. He didn't want to have to _share_ himself between his loved ones, leave one and choose the other. That wasn't an option on his part.

"Steven's too young to be thinking of taking over a _company," _Pearl said defiantly. "He has school, he has friends! He has us." She motioned to everyone in the room. Her blood _boiled _at the suggestion. They had no right to be asking this of them. They'd only known about him a mere two years ago, compared to the sixteen years they've all raised Steven. His mother ran away from them, from their strict, malicious ways, their constricting rules, they couldn't _possibly_ be given the responsibility of another child.

"Steven's incredibly social; he can easily make new friends." Jaune interjected, "He can attend the best schools we can offer as well. With our name _and_ money, Steven can advance his education. We can enroll him into any college he'd like, one that prepares him for the real world, as well as what we'll expect of him once he joins us."

"He doesn't want to go to college for _business_..." Garnet spits, voice low and venomous. These women had absolutely no idea what Steven wanted. "He wants to work in reforestation. In conservation science. He wants to help the earth, he wants to play music, _he wants to make people happy_. You have _no idea_ what he wants for his future."

"And _you_ do?" Blue narrows her eyes.

"I know far more than you do." Garnet shot back, "_You_ weren't around his entire life."

"We _didn't know _about him his _entire life." _Blue countered back, normally calm voice raising in volume. Diana felt a migraine growing, index nail grazing over her temple.

_"Enough," _She silenced them. Their fued was growing childish. "Whatever Steven wants, he can have. Whatever he wants to do or study, he will."

"You can't buy his love like that!" Amethyst shot her arms out, "Y'all did that to Rose, _and look at what happened to her!" _The room flinched; it went almost unspoken the way the Diamonds had treated their only daughter. How they'd shower her with gifts and treasures and anything money could buy, when all she really wanted was attention.

Blue shifted uncomfortably, "We understand we have made several mistakes in the past-"

"_Several mistakes._.." Pearl mocks. She's lived through every horrid moment of Rose's life. Every event that shaped her, Pearl was there. The troubling obstacles of her childhood, the loneliness, the expectations, the days spent isolated, locked in her room. The moments Pearl would help her sneak out through her window, steal the various cars lined in her family's garage to drive into underground city parties, skipping school just to _be_ with eachother, be away from the strenuous path their families had set them on. Pearl knew firsthand how demanding Rose's parents were. Still are. Even now, they're demanding her son to live with them _God knows where _to do _God knows what__._

It was out of the question. "He can't go live with you. It's not what Rose would have wanted."

"_Pink _is gone," Jaune says through her teeth, "She cannot decide for him when she isn't here. He's leaving with us."

Red-faced and sweating, Greg leans forward, his eyes piercing, but noticeable fear behind them. "What if I don't let you take him?"

"That's the thing," Diana shrugs. "We weren't asking for your permission." She sits up straight, hands motioned in front of her, "The law favors a child to be in the care of their biological parents-"

"-_which I am." _Greg says.

"_-if that parent _is deemed fit enough for the court." Diana finishes, jaw clenched at being interrupted. "Which you are _not, _Mr. Universe. You live in your car, you do not own a home, and you entrust the care of our grandchild to the hands of your _friends." _

"Those _friends_ are my family..." Steven's quiet voice pitched in. "They're not some strangers, they-they've helped me through_ everything. _I _love_ them like family. And my dad's my _dad! _I can't leave him!"

Blue sent Steven a gentle, loving smile. For once, tired eyes looking happy, "Steven, we understand they have been a large part of your life. But you're nearing adulthood, you must grow up and away from this little town. You have responsibilities as a Diamond; you can achieve so much."

"But I like it here!" Steven grips the arm of the couch, "I like this town, I-I like the beach. Connie and I were planning on graduating together, we were going to college together, I-"

"_Steven," _Jaune sighs, exasperated, "I know it must be hard to leave all this behind-"

"_No you don't get it!" _Steven wailed, scrubbing his palm down his face, "If you really cared about me you wouldn't be doing this! _It's not fair." _He glared at the three women. The anger coarsing through him overrunning the pure love he usually has for them. "You say you want what's best for me but you're taking me away from my family? _That doesn't make sense!" _

Noticing his son's distressed state, Greg rushes up to him, resting his hands flat on his shoulder and back, squeezing. Steven's entire body is trembling in anger. He wants to cry.

"See what you're doing to him?" Amethyst groaned roughly, stepping away from the dinning table to try and comfort him too. But Steven bats at her hands, no matter how well intended they are.

"No, _stop_." Steven manages. He already feels suffocated. "_I'm fine."_

Though the Diamonds had been known to be nothing but cold and ruthless to anyone or anything that crossed their paths, meeting Steven had softened their edges. And their hearts clenched at watching their grandson fall apart. In the end, however, they knew this would benefit more than hurt him.

Blue, ever the empathetic woman, took Steven's hand in hers. His skin felt clammy and cold. She waited until his red-rimmed eyes met hers again. The couch they sat on suddenly felt all too small. "Steven, you belong with us. We love you, you know that. You'll understand in time."

Steven rested his cheek on his palm, turning away and not daring to look at his grandmothers, afraid he'd fall apart immediately. He could practically feel the daggers Amethyst and his dad were sending the women. "Do...we leave now?"

"We'll give you a week at most," Diana adds in. Her voice is much softer now. Less abrasive and rough. "You can get everything ready by then."

Body shaking, Garnet stomped her way towards the Diamonds. Her mind out of synch with her actions, fists clenched in rage. Pearl scrambled to catch up to her, standing in her path and gripping her shoulders. She presses her body up against the other woman's, slowing her down, "_Garnet, don't do anything you'll regret."_

"They can't take him." Garnet whispers, voice pained. Pearl slides her palms down the woman's biceps, trying to bring her any type of tranquility with her mind so foggy and thick with anger.

"_I know. _Just calm down," Pearl murmurs right back. She pushed Garnet away enough to put some distance between her and the Diamonds. She didn't want her friend attempting something that would only make things worse.

Jaune raised an eyebrow. These people couldn't even_ afford _risking a fight with them. They knew, no matter how desperately they wanted Steven to stay, they couldn't compete with their status.

"We were hoping you'd hand over custody willingly. It would be easier and far less traumatizing on Steven's behalf if you were to do so. We don't want him to go through an entire court proceeding." Jaune says. It takes everything in Greg to not lose his temper. He's well-known for his laid- back attitude and calm demeanor, but when his relationship with his son is in jeopardy, he can't help but resort to any means to change their minds and make him stay.

_"Please," _And Greg was never one to beg to Rose's family, because they had nothing he ever wanted. He didn't want their approval nor did he want their affection. They hurt Rose, and though they're trying to change, this entire ordeal makes him rethink that perhaps they haven't at all.

"He's...He's all I have left. You can't take him away from me." Greg's voice cracks, fingers digging into his son's shoulders. Steven grips his hand, glancing at his grandmother's in desperation. Jaune and Blue appeared the most sympathetic, Blue's expression pitiful for the horrid way this turned out. Jaune's eyes are colder, but there's a crack to her mask.

Diana seems to have no readable expression. It's blank and bare. She doesn't quite understand what shes doing to this family. She genuinely believes this is what's best for Steven. But Steven _knows _she has a heart, in there, somewhere. He's seen it. He knows she cares about him enough to listen to his side. Steven isn't his mother. Diana can't push him around. But, he can't help but think they're right; they have money and lawyers and they know the law inside and out. There's no way Steven could help his family win against that.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Universe." Her voice is gentle this time. A confirmation for the family that she's not backing down.

Steven breathes in shakily. His eyes are watering, and he feels stupid for crying, but being ripped from family would make anyone upset. He wipes at his eyes. Unsure if he should even listen to his grandmother's apologies anymore.

"_You can't. Do this." _Amethyst grits her teeth, fists shaking. The others may be too afraid to speak their mind against them, but she isn't. She'd never been the type to take kindly towards authority.

"Amethyst-" Pearl tries, defeated and tired. She grazes her knuckles against Amethyst's own but the young girl snatches her hand away.

"_No!" _Amethyst marches up towards the Diamonds, and when Pearl catches her wrist between thin, bony fingers, Amethyst doesn't jerk away.

She jabs a finger in the direction of the three women, angry tears prickling her eyes, "_You can't do this to him!" _

Pearl's desperately trying to pull her back, Garnet's comforting hand on her shoulder, but Amethyst persists, "He's all we have! I've known Steven since he was _inside _Rose! You can't come in here and decide things for him; that defeats the whole purpose of fair!"

Blue winces at her words. There's only a twitch in Jaune's heartless guise. Diana seems unphased. It _annoys _Amethyst, the lack of reaction and screaming, as if her causing this commotion won't make them rethink, won't make them _not _finalize the thought of taking her best friend away from her.

She's crying now, it seems, because the hot tears down her face burn her cheeks like lava. This was so _stupid, _and _she _feels so _stupid. _

Jaune dismissively waves her hand, "We won't take him away from you. He can still have contact with you anytime he'd like. Though, visitation times may be limited-"

"So I gotta schedule appointments to meet up with him?" Amethyst laughed through her tears, "You know that won't work."

"We can make it work if we _try-"_

_"_We don't wanna try with you! None of you!"

Jaune's lips twisted into a frown, "He's coming whether you all like it or not-"

"_You're not taking him. _He's not going with you and_ I'm gonna make sure of that!"_

"Is that a threat?" Jaune narrows her eyes and stands, her frame broader and taller than the younger girl, but Amethyst stands to her full height too. Even a crying, sniveling, angry mess, she refuses to go down.

"Amethyst, _stop," _Steven tries, his watery voice almost threatening to make her. But Blue stands beside her wife just as quick, placing a hand on her shoulder and one down on Amethyst's, gently shoving them both away. In rage, Amethyst tunes out Steven and swats Blue's hand, nearly shoving the woman back down to couch once more.

"Don't touch me!"

Eyes seeing red, Jaune grips Amethyst's forearm in manicured nails and strong fingers, "_What is wrong with you?" _

Amethyst hisses, taking Jaune's own arm in a tight hold too, "_You!_ You're what's wrong! We were perfectly fine until _all of you _showed up! Trying to break apart _my_ family!"

Garnet and Blue manage to pull them away, Pearl standing between her and the older woman fuming with unresolved anger. They continue to yell, scream, curse, fight. Jaune taunting Amethyst and Blue testing Garnet's patience with passive remarks, the usually calm woman shooting back just as rough. Pearl, ever the calm one, can't help but defend her family alongside them.  
Steven feels a headache splitting his brain in half. He never knew the terrors of family fights like this, where the outcome of that fight determined his future. His dad gave him reassuring, teary smiles and grounding rubs over his back. He was going to miss that. Because they _genuinely_ wanted to take him away. Nothing was going to change their minds. Everything he's been through, every memory, every new self discovery with his dad, his friends, Connie, Amethyst, Pearl, Garnet...it was all going to become a memory.

And it _hurt. _

Just as quick as the fighting had started, it ceased as Diana stood slowly. She glared over the individuals in the room, locked eyes on Steven, and motioned a finger towards him.

"Collect your things. We're leaving now."

She folded her arms across her chest, as if awaiting any more arguments. Steven's eyes go wide; she said _a week_. She gave him a _week. _

"_W-Wait-" _Steven stood up abruptly, his head spinning. But Pearl beat him to his word.

"You said we had a week with him." She said warily, her voice carrying a thousand feelings.

Diana sighed, and this was where Steven noticed the chip in the character she played up as. There he saw a woman attempting to fix past mistakes and entrust the care of her family in her own hands. She was paranoid. Dependent. Wanted to know Steven was safe and accounted for. Steven shook his head.

"I...I can't have more time with them?" He asked desperately. 

Diana shamefully shook her head, "I'd rather not risk them leaving the country with you, or trying anything of the sort," She glared at Amethyst, who shrank under her gaze this time, "I need you to pack your things now, Steven. We'll leave once you're finished."

"_Please."_ Steven almost fell to his knees. Glancing around his family, the sight of their tear-filled eyes and twisted faces making his gut churn. He gripped his hands together. "_Please. _Just the week..."

Jaune and Blue stared at Diana expectedly, awaiting an order. They wanted to take Steven as much as she did, but even they saw the damage in asking for custody _and_ ripping him straight out of his home in such a small amount of time.

Diana shakes her head. Her palms feel heavy on Steven's shoulders and her smile is forced, trying too hard to appear comforting in a situation so strained. She sighs down at her grandson, "Steven-"

_Knock Knock Knock_

She paused. Pushing Steven slightly towards the direction to his room. He persisted against her, though, and clipped past her.

"No, Steven, it's time to leave."

"Wh-What if it's Connie?" Steven glances back at her tirelessly, the whites of his eyes almost rubbed raw. "Or are you gonna take away my time with her too?"

Diana remains quiet. Let's him go. He hears Pearl suggest at least some time for him to say goodbye to his friends, and Jaune firmly denying, before their voices grew muddled and far. Connie would make him feel better. She always did. Closer to his age, she understood problems the adults he lived with didn't. He could cry in front of her without feeling so vulnerable and childish.

_Knock _ _knock_ _ knock knock_ _ knock _

"Coming!" Steven bound towards the door, hoping to see his best friend as he pulled it open, not particularly mindful of the silhouette not quite matching Connie's. Instead, he came face to face with a rather lanky young woman. She seemed just a few inches taller than him, thin and spindly, as if her arms and legs went on forever. Her hair was a dark pink color, black roots peaking through, held in messy twin tails. Her clothing was dark and baggy, boots reaching up to her mid-shin, her makeup matching her bleak aesthetic. Jewelry pierced her ears, donned around her wrist and neck as well, along with a slit in her eyebrow. She didn't look bad, just..._different_, from anyone he's ever seen in Beach City. He wasn't sure she was even _from _Beach City.

The girl shuffled uncomfortably under his stare, eyes not quite meeting his, "Uhm...hello?"

Steven blinks, smiles confusingly, "Hey. Uh, are you here for something?"

She shifts again, rubbing a hand behind her neck, "Er, I just wanted to know if...if Pia Diamond lived here?"

Her voice has a slight accent to it Steven can't quite place, but he cocks his head at her question. She's looking for his mom. And she knows her _real_ name. How does this stranger know her at all? "Who's asking?"

"Me," The girl says defiantly, standing up just a bit straighter, "I-I'm her daughter."


	2. Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and his family try to find the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah! this took forever lmao
> 
> anyways, sorry. school is absolutely suffocating me :,) its 12am so i apologize for any mistakes!!! hope u enjoy!

Steven felt secure in his reactions to people and their issues to him. Fixing other's problems was the story of his life. But honestly, in his eyes, there was no correct response to this girl's admission. He could only stare at her in disbelief. This stranger confessing something so unbelievable and insane. So naturally, he was more than confused.

He creaks the door open a bit further, standing with his full height in the doorway, "Daughter?"

She looks uncomfortable then, shuffling her feet, focused almost intensely on the floor. She has a lost look on her eyes and the bags underneath them certainly don't do anything in her favor. Her voice seems raspier when she speaks again, "Yeah, uhm, sh-she had me when she was eighteen? Bet she don't talk about me much, huh?" She chuckles awkwardly.

The joke falls a little flat once they both take her nervousness into account, the fact her words were wavering lightly. She's brimming with anxiety, he can sense it. It's thick enough to overpower and Steven wants to desperately get away from it, as cruel as it sounds.

"She doesn't have a daughter. My family never...mentioned..." He trails off, lost in thought. Thinking carefully over anything his friends might have said, perhaps something his dad previously mentioned, a child his grandmother's tried to hide. He couldn't recall a single time a _daughter _was brought up. With how outrageous her declaration had been, he had more than a hard time believing her. And he didn't feel right accusing her of outright lying.

The girl seemed to read his mind almost instantly. The air around her changed and her eyes grew bitter. She scowled, sighed, and reached into one of her various pockets, "Listen kid, I-I know you probably think I'm lyin'. Maybe even crazy," She pulled out a black wallet, popping it open and skimming through its messy contents. Cursed when a few pennies and receipts fell out. "I wouldn't believe me neither, if I was you. _But I'm tellin' the truth."_

A triumphant sound flees her lips when she slips out a photograph. It's a slightly faded polaroid, but it's kept in nearly pristine condition. No folds, no tears. She hesitantly hands it to Steven and the boy takes it with skepticism.

"Please, be careful with it..." She mumbles.

It hurts her to let it go. Steven glances down at the photo and has to blink away the confusion in his mind to clearly see it. His grip on the corner tightens.

It's his mother. Pia Diamond, _Pink Diamond, _before she became Rose Quartz, before she ran away from her previous life. She looks exhausted. Dyed pink hair in disarray, sweat glistening on her temple. Her eyes are sad and scared, staring down at a bundle in her arms with tears painting her cheeks. She's far too young, Steven notices. Terrified and alone. Inexperienced. The pictures he has of her, the limited moments she had him in her arms, she looked so happy. This was nothing close to that.

He turned the picture around, hoping to find a signature, or a name, or some writing, like the loops of her script written on his baby album. Any trace of _his_ mother. Nothing. He looks down at the infant in the polaroid, then up at the girl. She's chewing her lip, nearly drawing blood. She reminds Steven of a frightened, cornered rabbit. Too afraid to stand still and face danger, more keen on jumping at the chance to flee.

"I'm-Spinel, by the way." She says awkwardly and holds out her hand. "Kinda forgot to introduce myself...before droppin' all this on ya'..."

Steven smiles and shakes it firmly. Spinel. Odd name. "No worries. I'm Steven."

She nods and Steven can see the faint traces of a smile on her lips, "Y-You don't havta' believe me, really," She starts, hand remaining outstretched for her picture back, "But I just need to talk to her. Can...Can I talk to her?

Steven gives the photo back, the absence of it burning his fingers. The sight of that picture made his stomach turn something awful. He fidgets with his hands. Breathing becomes difficult when he sees the hopeful look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." His voice is apologetic, expression sullen, "Sh-She's not-"

Steven has no time to respond and finish his sentence as the screaming of familiar voices begins to grow loud and aggressive. He gasps sharply.

_He_ _ left his family alone._

There's a few suspicious thuds that vibrate through his ears before he quickly motions at the girl, "_Come in, please!"_

She hesitantly steps inside and Steven shuts the door rather uncermiosuly. He hears several more scuffling noises that make his heart jump from his chest before he's turning his attention back to his family. Skidding around the corner, nearly slipping, as he scrmbles to get in between them.

Garnet has Pearl by the waist, the thin womans hands gesturing franctically along with her voice in wild waves and points and swipes. There's frustrated tears in her eyes and prominent anger in her face. This time, Diana seems to be the one at the end of Pearl's temper. And she's ripping a reaction out of her too.

His normally composed grandmother was pink in the face. Whatever Pearl had been saying was working; Diana was crumbling and had no platform underneath her to keep her upright. Though, at the expense of Pearl's sanity, and Pearl was near hysterical.

"_Stop, stop!"_ Steven begs. He uses his body as a barrier between them cutting off whatever argument they were in the midst of. Well, not effectively cutting it, but reverting the attention to the young boy instead.

"_You're not going with her, Steven." _Pearl demands firmly. Her nails are digging dangerously into Garnet's arm.

Diana scoffs, taking Steven by the shoulder and pulling him to her side. Her touch isn't painful, thankfully, but her talons are unforgiving. "What gives you the right to tell him what to do? _He's not your blood."_

_"What the hell does that matter?" _Pearl hisses, teeth bared.

"Stop screaming!" Steven pleads to the both of them. "Pearl, you know I can't let you guys go through all this-"

"_No Steven!" _Pearl shrieks, "We have sacrificed_ everything _to be your family. Whether it's by blood or not, _you are ours." _Her face crumbles, "You've changed my life, _all our lives_. I wanted to talk, I did, to see if we could come to _some sort _of agreement!" She glares mercilessly at Diana, "_But they're too stubborn for their own good!_ If they won't come to a compromise, if they won't give us any visitation or custody rights, _then you're not going."_

"We'll see what the court decides." Diana narrows her eyes, resting both her hands protectively on Steven's shoulders.

Pearl makes a move to strike, but is held down quickly by Garnet. The woman tightens her grip around her with a nervous frown. "_We'll see what the police have to say once we call them! _You're on _our_ property, and you need to _leave!"_

"You're an idiot," The elder woman scoffs.

"You don't scare me anymore, Diana!" Pearl spits back.

Steven attempts to calm down his guardian, slipping from his grandmothers grasp to help Pearl. She's a nervous wreck, hands shaking and eyes twitching, and only seems to cool down when Steven holds both her hands in his. His eyes, so warm and similar to his mother's, help Pearl reach a plain of serenity she had forgotten she needed. She clenches his hand tightly. Her skin is hot, fuming from her anger.

Before Steven can get a word in, Diana interrupts them. She, carefully but firmly, pulls Steven away again, keeping a tight grip on his jacket sleeve as he stumbles backwards.

"_Steven,"_ She says cooly. Regains her composure because it felt unbelievably unbecoming of her to behave this way, whether she was upset or not. "We need to leave."

"_Hold on," _He struggled in his grandmothers grip, glancing up to meet the eyes of his nearly-forgotten guest. The poor girl looks as if anything could trigger her to run away. "There's-something else..."

Diana raises a thin brow before she turns her attention to whatever seems to be stealing Steven's own. The unfamiliar girl, pierced up and dressed like a delinquent. Her lips curls in distaste.

"Steven, don't you think it's a little _inappropriate_ to be bringing friends over at this time?" Garnet quietly says behind Pearl. Her voice is strained.

All eyes in the room turn to Spinel. She feels them impale her skin like spears.

Steven jumps to her defense, "No, I-"

"I'm sorry, but you must reschedule whatever plans you had with Steven," Diana says. It takes everything in her body to not yell at this innocent stranger, "He's leaving now."

_"Wait wait, no, _y-you have to listen to her, really quick!" Steven escapes his grandmother's authoritative hold again and makes his way towards Spinel. She cautiously takes a few steps away from him, before he holds out his hand. Waiting for her to take it. She doesn't.

Steven clenches his fist before motioning to her instead. "Can you tell them? What you told me?" 

"_Kid," _The stranger spits, shaky fingers beginning to play with the ends of her twin tails. "I-I don't know these people, _I __don't__ even know you." _She snaps her jaw shut, "I came here to talk to my mom, I ain't about to tell a buncha' strangers my business..."

Steven's face falls. "I-I know, but-" His face goes pale. He can't be the bearer of bad news. She looks so defeated already. He glances to the people behind him, "_This _is her family. I just want an explanation for them and for me so we can...so we can understand, an-and talk it out-" Steven barely knows what he's saying at this point. He can hardly wrap his head around everything that's happening. It hurts to admit how little he believes this girl, but he's giving her the benefit of the doubt. She had enough proof.

But Spinel closes her eyes in frustration, pulling lightly at her hair. "_Jesus, y__ou're no damn help." _She fishes out the photo from before and stomps past Steven, her boots heavy on the wooden floor. She sizes up the tallest woman there, hesitantly holding the polaroid up to Diana, albeit being evident she was intimidated by her.

"I don't know _why_ you're fightin', I don't care about _what's_ happenin', I just wanna know where Pia Diamond is." She says, deafeated, "_Please_, I only wanna talk to her."

Diana's stare is rather belittling before she glances down at the photo. Then, she blanches, if it were even possible for her to go anymore white than usual. Blue and Jaune, alarmed by her reaction, huddle around her, crowding the photo, a sharp gasp slipping from each woman.

Familiar pink hair. Doey brown eyes. Blue's heart clenched as she reaches out to take the photo before Spinel rips it away. "_Where...Where did you get that?"_

Spine scowls, "Where's Pia?"

They turn to Diana for guidance. But she's frozen, mind processing every inch of that grainy little polaroid. It was odd to see her in a daze, because they could count on _one hand_ how many times they'd seen Diana speechless.

Jaune stares down at the stranger. She's oddly familiar, once she takes in the shape of her face, her nose, her eyes. Jaune feels dizzy.

"She's gone."

Spinel's eyes widen, breath stopping completely. She shook her head, jewelry on her neck clinking together, "_What?_"

A warm hand came upon her shoulder then and it took everything within her to not jerk herself away from it. Steven's thumb rubbed gentle circles there, grounding and comforting.

"I think we should sit down."

* * *

They were back at square one. Sitting around the living room with company not intently needed, but forcefully welcomed. Steven fidgets with a loose string on his jeans as his grandmothers try not to bombard their guest, even when they're itching to. They'd begun to ask immediate questions, but Steven hushed them before a sound could get out. He had enough of their overlapping voices. Overwhelming the girl was the last thing he wanted to do.

But this might be worse. Everyone's quiet. A few ushed whispers between Garnet and Amethyst, deep breaths from Pearl to soothe herself. They, thankfully, had the chance to sit next to Steven this time. Comfortable company, with his dad right beside him, just as lost as usual. Steven couldn't blame him. He was beyond confused too.

Across from them, Spinel sat stiffly on a chair. Face expressionless, fingers gripping onto that spotless photograph. The indents making veins of creases tainting the delicate memory. No one spoke. No one moved. Steven was afraid his grandmothers were going to erupt.

Finally, Blue broke the silence, "Where did you get that picture?"

Spinel looks up. This woman looks soft and comforting, like a grandmother should. But youthful. Her jet black hair only having a few strands of gray. Her dark skin still smooth and vibrant, sad eyes heavy with past emotions. She looks kind.

"Is...she really gone?" Spinel says instead.

"You haven't answered my question..." Blue counteracts.

"And _you_ain't answered _mine." _Spinel shoots back.

Blue purses her lips. Bites the inside of her cheek. She doesn't look at Spinel when she nods, "Yes. She's been gone for sixteen years now. As old as him." She motions fondly to Steven.

Steven flinches at being mentioned. He could see the hurt in her eyes flash for a brief moment before it's replaced by a curtain of numbness. She stares at Steven, then back down at her photo. Her jaw clenches.

"How'd she die?" She asks.

"Childbirth." Garnet answers bluntly. She's tall, lean, and muscular, as Spinel notices. Thick arms, swole thighs, definitely more than six feet tall. There's sunglasses on her head, settled in her pretty, curly afro. Her eyes are different colors, but Spinel can't quite see what colors they are. Just light and dark. Her voice is pretty.

_Childbirth._

Spinel heaves a heavy sigh. She doesn't quite know how to feel. All this time spent searching, waiting patiently for a person who didn't exist anymore. Years of her life wasted towards someone that not only _abandoned _her, but had the _gall _to _die _while Spinel fretted over what she would think about her.

And a son. _Another child. _She had another child and left him in the care of her family. Her friends, her loved ones. He grew up with everything _she _dreamed of. One look around the room concluded the irrefutable fact that this young boy had people who loved him. People her mother chose to expose him to.

She didn't notice the sting of tears until they hit her cheeks. She furiously wiped them off, only to bring her knuckles back with traces of black. Her stupid makeup began to run. Her sniffles became the only sound in the room, then, and it made her feel so unbelievably small.

Steven feels horrible. He wants to speak up, but chokes on every word trying to manifest itself in his throat. Nothing makes sense to him and everything just feels unreal.

"What's your name?"

Spinel wiped at her eyes, smudging her makeup further, and turns to the voice. Steven's other grandmother, she thinks. A tall, tanned blonde, never-ending legs trapped in pressed slacks and heels, broad torso wrapped in button-ups and blazers. She reminds Spinel of all the social workers she pissed off in her youth.

"Spinel." She answers thickly.

Jaune nods, fingers resting on her temple. The tension in her neck shows how she desperately wants to say more.

But jittery and impatient, it's Blue who leans forward, tight grip on her knees, "_Spinel, may __I__ please see that picture?"_

She's had the question on her mind for ages now, Spinel can tell. Her nail grazes the outline of her mother's face in the photo before she shuts her eyes and hands Blue the picture. On either side of Blue, Jaune and Diana lean in. Studying the polaroid with raptured attention.

"_This can't be real," _Blue's voice begins to crack. She lifts lifts the picture up to Spinel, "Where did you get this?"

"It _is _real. My case worker gave it to me when I was thirteen. They took that picture right afta' I was born." Spinel comments rather blandly.

Diana takes the picture from Blue. She makes Spinel's skin crawl, but has no trouble looking elegant and terrifying as well. Her makeup is clean, as sharp as the heels she doned. Skin pale and hair matching, reminding Spinel of Marilyn Monroe's signature curls. She practically _oozes_ confidence and wealth and white picket fences and suburban neighborhoods. Spinel doesn't like her.

"You must be mistaken," Diana claims matter-of-factly, a sickeningly sweet, fake smile on her face as she grips the photo between two manicured nails, as if it were to sting her bare flesh if she were to touch it properly. "_This is fake."_

Spinel feels her nostrils flare. Blue attempts to take the photo back, but Diana snatches it away.

"_Mother," _Jaune reprimands quietly.

"No," Diana purses her lip at Spinel. The fire in her eyes seems to alight, "How _dare _you come waste my family's time? _My _time?" Her smiles turns into a scowl as she turns down at the unrecognizable image of her grandchild, of the baby in her arms, "_Do you think this is a joke?"_

_"It ain't a joke!" _Spinel bellows. "Why would I lie about this?"

"There are _p__lenty_ of reasons why you would lie. Do you even know who we are?"

Spinel looks close to attacking, "I got no idea who you are. All I know is my mom is _Pia Diamond _and she lives _here_. She was eighteen when she had me and she _left_ and _everyone_ said she was comin' back, so _I'm _not the damn liar, _she__ is!_" Spinel grips her hair, black tears now streaking her face, "I just wanted to talk to her, but she..." She trails off and shuts her eyes. She doesn't want to say it out loud.

"Why won't you guys believe her?" Steven's calm voice cries out. She looks desperately between all three of his grandmothers, "I-I think she's telling the truth."

"I _know _my granddaughter, Steven. She isn't capable of something like this."

"_And I know my daughter," _Blue adds, voice shaky, "I know she was reckless when she was young. I know she's had her fair share of mistakes too. We don't know _what _she's done behind our back.. You can't be blind to her antics, Diana."

"Mom's hurt a lot of people," Steven admits, "I...wouldn't put this past her."

Diana's lips thin, "She wouldn't have been able to slip this past _me."_

"Diana, she was capable of _running away." _Blue continues, "She created a new life for herself. She had a _husband _without us knowing, a _child_ without us knowing. Is this really _that _surprising?"

Diana doesn't argue back, opting to remain quiet.

Spinel grits her teeth behind a closed mouth. They don't believe her. She pulls at the jewelry around her neck and she manages to free a golden chain without mishap. She yanks the necklace from inside her shirt and holds the pendant in her palm. It's a beautiful, dark, pink heart, shiny and lined with golden trimmings and various other gems Spinel doesn't know the name of. It looks expensive and something no one would expect Spinel to own.

"_Look_," She turns the jewel around. On the flat surface of the pendant lies two inscripted, cursive words.

_Pia Diamond ღ_

"It's just her name," Spinel says and holds the the necklace out for Diana, "But my case work said she wanted me to have it. That's...probably a lie too. But I've had it since I was thirteen."

Diana takes the necklace from Spinel and feels herself get hit by a wave of nasuea so severe she feels lightheaded. The perfectly cut gem sparkles under the dim lights.

"_Oh my God_." Blue reaches for the necklace and thumbs over the surface of the gem, "I remember this. We gave this to her on her birthday."

"Cost us nearly a hundred grand." Jaune mutters as her nails trail over the individual diamonds.

"_A hundred grand_? That lil' thing?" Spinel squeaks. She knew it would be expensive but not _nearly _as much.

Jaune nods, a bittersweet smile on her face, "Only the best for our girl."

"_Oh_, Diana was _furious _when Pink lost it." Blue traced the flowing letters of her name. "It's a miracle you still have it, Spinel."

"Right." Diana says, "_Lost _it."

"_Mother," _Jaune mutters again.

Diana waves her off, "A hundred thousand dollar necklace would have anyone dying to steal it."

Spinel gapes at the accusation, "You think I _stole _it?"

"I _know _you stole this."

"If I wanted it for the money, wouldn't it be gone already?" Spinel bites back.

"I don't know your intentions," Diana glares, "_I don't know you at all, _but i know girls like you steal pretty things like this."

"_Girls like me?" _Spinel bares her teeth.

"She's telling the truth."

They stop at the sudden interruption. A calm, mature voice that makes Spinel feel so little and ashamed for raising her own.

It's that woman. Pearl, who nearly killed herself in trying to kill Diana. She _looked _like a mother ready to kill, really. Short hair, either dyed or a natural peach, and smooth, tan skin. She had a pretty little bindi between her brows and an outfit the _screamed '_mom'.

"_What?" _Diana manages through grit teeth.

Pearl looks anxious now. Nothing from the previously strong, confident woman Spinel saw her as. "She's telling the truth." Her eyes meet Spinel's, and Spinel flinches back at the pity hidden behind them.

"She named you after that necklace, you know. A little Spinel. We thought it was cute at the time..."

Spinel's eyes widen. "What are you talkin' about?"

Pearl pauses, then takes a deep breath, "Rose..._Pink_ and I were around seventeen, sixteen years old at the time. She was grounded, _again,_ and she called me over to help sneak her out." She smiled at the memory, at the glare of both Pink's mothers.

"We went to party that night. I don't know what we were thinking, we were just children, we were so _foolish._ But I-I lost her for awhile. I asked around, no one knew where she went." She shook her head. That night nearly gave her a heart attack. She's read the news and seen T.V. She knows what happens to pretty girls at parties.

"I didn't hear from her until the morning after, and I was expecting the worst, I thought I'd find her dead." Her voice wavers before she collects herself, breathing in deep, "She was fine, she just went out with some friends. She met a few boys there...I-I'm not sure."

Blue inhales sharply, massaging her temple. Her wife's grips her shoulder reassuringly.

"She started to get sick a few weeks afterwards. We didn't know what it was, but she had this feeling..." Pearl pauses and notices how Spinel begins to hang off every word she says, "I bought the tests for her. Three of them came out positive. She...She cried all night, _she was so afraid."_

Diana's brow raises in surprise. Suspicion as well, "What did you do?"

"She wanted to get rid of it. She was so stressed about the company a-and school and taking over for you three. She said there was no time in her life for a baby." Pearl sighs.

"She had an abortion?" Jaune inquired uneasily.

Pearl shakes her head, "No, she couldn't go through with it."

"But she wanted it, right?" Spinel spits rather maliciously.

Pearl winced. "She did. I...would have supported her through anything, but she just _couldn't_. It's why she took that year vacation off. To study abroad?"

Jaune rubbed at her eyes in frustration. She remembered all too well the silly act Pink had put on, begging and pleading to study in Europe. Her grades in her private school were above average; she was an intelligent girl, really, just a victim to laziness. They hesitantly sent her to another country, blind and naive to her little false acts. She convinced them to let Pearl come along. Pearl, who willingly left her home and her education to follow a teen mother across the world to protect her. How _stupid _she was.

"That's why she wanted you to go." Blue sunk into the couch, "Did she even attend that school?"

"No," Pearl said bluntly, "She didn't want anyone to know when she began to show."

"Didn't you notice she wasn't going to school?" Steven chimed in. How could his grandmothers be so careless? How could they be so oblivious?

Blue shook her head sheepishly. Jaune averted her eyes. Pearl glowered at the two, "Well, if you'd have paid attention to her, you would have noticed."

"_We know _we lacked in that particular department, Pearl," Jaune says, "But we had responsibilities, we needed to provide for our company."

"_You needed to provide for her!" _Pearl nearly shrieked. "An _entire pregnancy _and she hid it from you until she gave birth!"

For once, Blue and Jaune had nothing to say.

"She was so afraid of what _you would do _that she'd rather have taken this pregnancy to her grave instead of tell you!" Pearl growled.

"We would have helped her with this." Diana vouched for her family.

Pearl scoffed. She knew how much reputation mattered to the Diamonds. This would have _killed _them. "She didn't want the child anyways. She didn't...I know mother's are supposed to bond with their children, even in the womb, but she was so..._distant. _She spoke to her stomach sometimes, apologizing over and over. She just...didn't want that baby. She needed you three, she needed her parents to guide her, _I had no idea what I was doing, _and I didn't have enoughexperience to help her with something so big..."

Spinel couldn't stand to hear anymore, but she knew she had to. This is what she came for. Well, not exactly this, not a jagged knife shoved carelessly into her chest, but for closure. She searched for her mother, but found the next best thing when she wasn't there to provide Spinel the answers she craved. It hurt more than she expected it to_._

"She didn't want me?" Spinel managed to say, mouthful of cotton.

Pearl averted her eyes shamefully, "I'm sorry, Spinel." She played with the bones of her wrists, all too interested in their shape rather than continuing to tear apart this poor girl, "You must understand, she was reckless and _incredibly_ irresponsible. She was crying the entire time at the hospital. She was bleeding so much, she fell unconcious too, I thought I lost her..."

Spinel wiped at her eyes. Blue felt her own sting with fresh waves of tears. Her own child's life was nearly taken away by a few mistakes that could have easily been prevented had she been there for her. Jaune held her hand tightly in support.

"And then she had you. You came out feet first, with the umbilical cord around your neck, but breathing." She glanced down at the polaroid in Diana's hand, "It took three days for you both to recover. I remember she asked to see you, after they cleaned you up. You were so _small_. She nearly screamed her head off when that nurse took the photo." She laughed gently.

Spinel sniffed. Every word just dug the knife deeper into her chest. It was torture, to sit here and endure this. Her heart ached and the tears felt like razors at the corners of her eyes.

"She didn't...think 'bout keepin' me?" Spinel asked.

It took a moment for Pearl to answer, "I-I'm not going to sit here and lie to you, Spinel. But she didn't. I'm so sorry, she...she couldn't keep you. No matter how much she..._wanted _you or not, she just...saw you as something her parents would punish her for. I'm sorry..."

Spinel's hands grip her thighs bruisingly tight. She doesn't know what to feel at the moment. The harsh truth of rejection that she had tried so desperately to avoid was now settling in her stomach like tar. She wanted to blame the Diamonds. She wanted to blame Pearl. She wanted to blame her mother's friends, her husband, _her son._

But she could only swallow every horrid thing she wanted to say and cry.

Despite Pearl's confession, Diana couldn't wrap her head around the truth. It was too impossible. And Pink was too scrappy. She couldn't have covered this up up so easily.

"I don't believe you." Diana says briefly.

Pearl upturns her nose, "I don't care if you don't believe me; it happened. And that child is out there somewhere in this world, or she's...she's right there." She indicates towards Spinel.

Spinel doesn't comment, too busy reflecting on the bombs that had just ambushed her psyche.

"How could it not be her, Diana?" Blue questions. "She's shown no interest in our money nor our name; she came looking for Pink. She has her photo _and _her necklace."

"That she could have _manipulated_ or _stolen_."

"I watched Rose give them to her," Pearl chimed in, "Our '_sememster__'_was ending, and we had to go back home. She demanded a private jet so no one would know she had a child with her. The adoption agency she called wasn't...well-reasearched, she was just desperate to...to-"

"Get rid of me?" Spinel quietly finishes her sentence.

Pearl grimaces, "Yes...I told her to find a better agency, something fit enough her baby, but she panicked and picked the first group of people she stumbled across. A scoial worker came in, took you, and Rose made her promise to keep _that_ photo and _that_ necklace safe for you until you grew up."

Jaune gripped the nacklace harder in her hand, "What luck she had..."

"I couldn't believe it either. But the woman was kind. I always hoped she kept that promise..." She sighed, "I thought about you nearly every single day after that. Even now, I see how old Steven is, and I wonder how old _you _are. What you're doing with your life and how you have grown and what dreams you've accomplished."

"I ain't accomplished nothin'." Spinel's voice sounds scraped raw. "I'm not no one special..."

A tense silence overcomes them, Spinel's sniffles filling up the quietness in the room every now and then. Blue collects the photo and necklace from Jaune and Diana, standing to make her way over to Spinel. She sits beside her and offers the tokens. "Here."

Spinel shakes her head and turns away from Blue. "Keep 'em. I don't want them no more." She murmurs into her palm.

Blue falters for a second before placing the items onto the sofa, carefully reaching out towards the other girl. Spinel tries to move away, but Blue catches her chin, forces Spinel to look at her, letting the elder woman turn her head to and fro.

"You have her eyes." Blue whispers. Then smiles, "And her nose. Doesn't she, Jaune?"

Jaune makes a move to speak, but Diana quickly interjects, "Blue, _please." _She takes the photo and the necklace again, grip like a vice as she stands.

"She's Rose's daughter, I know it." Pearl stood along with Diana, fists clenched at her side. "That name, that necklace, the photo. The timing matches up, she couldn't have possibly stolen or faked that picture and I don't know another child with the name _Spinel."_

"It _is _very uncommon." Jaune added. Diana rubbed at her temple. She was beginning to suffer another migraine.

"We won't go anywhere until we find out who she is then." Diana asserts. She pulls out her phone.

Pearl sputters, "What do you mean "_won't go anywhere?"_

"We'll be staying here until I figure this all out. Don't think I've forgotten the issue concerning Steven either." Diana narrows her eyes before clicking across her screen and pulling the phone to her ear. Pearl opens her mouth to argue, but Diana walks off, Jaune trailing closely after her with questions quietly flying from her lips.

Spinel wipes at her eyes. They're a mess of black, streaky tears and she knows it. They feel caked and gross and she just wants to sink her head into the ocean and scream her lungs out.

Gently, Blue tucks a stray strand of her pink hair behind her ear, though Spinel jerks away from her touch. Her anayalizing stare makes her uneasy.

Blue pulls her hand away, pursing her lips, "Do you live around here?"

Spinel blinks away the sting in her eyes, "Nah. I-I got a motel close to town with some friends." She exhales slowly before standing up, "I should get goin', actually. They're waitin' for me..."

Steven shifts anxiously, "Are you gonna come back?"

Spinel rubs away more of her ruined mascara, "I dont know-"

"She has to."

Jaune's voice cuts through their conversation and Spinel startles at her presence.

"What the hell's that mean?" Amethyst, surprisingly the quiet one, asks. She's shorter than Spinel, that much is obvious, with wild, lavender hair and the black of her natural roots peeking through. She reminds Spinel of herself.

"My mother needs her to undergo a few DNA tests-"

"You can't force her to do that. It's illegal." Pearl says.

"Not if we have a court order. Though, it _is _illegal to claim to be someone you're not." She stares down at Spinel, and though there's no malice in her eyes, Spinel senses the distrust.

Spinel squirms. She feels so exhausted. So much information has been dumped on her so carelessly, and she doesn't have the energy to stay here and argue anymore.

"Do you want to freshen up before you leave?" Blue suggests, indicating to the dark circles around her eyes and the trails of black leading down her cheeks.

Spinel shakes her head; she doesn't want to stay longer than she has to, "No offense, but I just wanna go. Today's been crazy, I don't..." She sighs. She has no energy to fight or explain herself, "I don't know..."

Blue nods. It's understandable Spinel's feeling overwhelmed and tired. Blue's afraid once the realization hits her, it's going to kill her. And there's something about her that makes Blue's maternal instincts run wild. She wants to reach out to comfort her, but knows it's not her place. The best thing she can do is let her go and figure this out herself.

"We'll need a way to contact you before you go," Jaune pulls out her phone as Spinel stands up to leave.   
The girl simply laughs bitterly.

"_Screw you_, y'all can come find me yourselves like I had to." She treads heavily past Jaune, her shoulder shoving the other woman's roughly on her way out. Jaune stumbles back in surprise and glares at the back of Spinel's head. They wince at the loud crash of the door against the wall as she rips it open.

"_Why you little-"_

"Hey, hey, I-I'll go talk to her!" Steven quickly clambered off the couch to follow Spinel. He didn't want his family fighting anymore and would rather avoid it from now on. He knew how to difuse these situations sometimes.

The sun was setting by this time. The sky a pretty purple and pink hue and the smell of the ocean's salty water a relief after being stuffed in a room for so long. He watched Spinel descend down the stares in an angry stomp and quickly caught up to her.

She doesn't slow down. Steven stays glued to her side, "I'm...sorry about all of that."

Spinel's face is stone-cold dead and expressionless, but she does glare at him through her peripheral vision. The boy doesn't seem to know when to quit.

Steven rubs the back of his neck, "I-I believe you, y'know. You and Pearl. My mom wasn't...exactly the saint everybody made her out to be. But I can't imagine her doing something like this..."

Spinel's teeth grind together. This kid was getting on her nerves.

Unaware of her anger, Steven continued, "She was inconsiderate, but she tried her best. She wanted to be kind but...let's just say, you're not the only one she's hurt-"

And Spinel's patience snaps. She's heard so many mixed stories and fumbled lies and truths today about _Pia Diamond _or _Pink_ or _Rose _or whatever the hell her name was. She found no closure. She found no answers. She came all this way just to have her mother's family tell her she didn't matter. Her mother never wanted her. _No one _ever wanted her.

But they all wanted _him._

Spinel spins around quick enough to give her whiplash before she's towering over Steven again. Shocked, the boy loses his footing and slips to the sand, Spinel standing dangerously close to him. Her teeth bared in an angry growl, eyebrows pinched in an expression of pure hatred.

_"You must know all about her life without me, huh?" _Her fists clench as the words cut through her teeth. "_Rub it in why don'tcha!"_

Steven pulls his arms up to his face when he sees her own raise. He's waiting for the impact and Spinel watches in rapt attention as her body reacts faster than her mind. Her first up to her temple, ready to barrel down on the poor boy. Her body is _screaming _for her to do it. The anger in her overriding every logical thought.

But she stops. Her hands trembling as she loosens her fist. She's not going to punch a kid. She can't.

A cry of anger rips out of her throat. She lowers her hands and kicks the sand instead, the grains flying into her eyes and her hair and her mouth, but she could care less. It's not enough. They're close to the docks and with one powerful swing of her arm, she punches one of its wooden poles. Then again, and again, and again, until she's crying and no sound comes out of her mouth.

She falls to the floor in a heap, blood on her knuckles, dripping into the sand and staining her pants. _Whatever, _she thinks. She has better clothes anyways.

Steven watches her breakdown from afar, surprised and frightened. Curious as to why she didn't just hit him. Upset because she hurt herself so bad. He sees her shoulders shaking with the effort to keep her sobbing quiet. He gulps down his anxiety and cautiously walks up to her.

His voice is soft when he speaks just a good foot behind her, "Spinel?"

She doesn't answer him, unsurprisingly. He slowly sits down next to her and winces at the blood pooling by her thighs. There's sand in her wounds. Steven wants to take her back home and clean them up.

"I'm sorry." He says tentatively. "I know nothing I say will make anything better right now, but I really am sorry, Spinel."

Spinel's dead eyes stare holes into the sand. Steven sighs. "You don't deserve what you went through. _My...Our _mom wasn't the best and you don't need her love or acceptance to be worth something. I know it's hard to accept now, but I hope you will in time." He gently places a flat palm against her shoulder. She flinches at first, but slowly eases into his touch.

"I can try and tell my family to leave you alone from now, but they're really stubborn. I-I'm just sorry for the way they acted and I'm sorry we weren't what you were looking for."

Steven remains quiet beside her afterwards. The sounds of squaking seagulls and crashing tided filling his senses instead. Today was chaotic. His grandmother's wanted to take him away earlier, and were completely set on leaving with him in the palm of their hands. Yet, everything stopped when this stranger showed up. And now they had an entirely new and completely different situation to asses. Something that, yet again, involved the horrible choices his mother had made in the past. This poor girl, searching for something that was never there. Abandoned and plagued with feelings of insecurity and worthlessness. And Steven hasn't got a clue how to help. She doesn't know him and he doesn't know her. It's easier to provide advice for his loved ones and his friends, but sadly, she's just a stranger to him. He doesn't know what she needs at all.

He straightens up as Spinel silently reaches into her pocket. Her moves are mechanical as she pulls out a phone, screen cracked and fading stickers on its case, and scrolls through her contacts. The screen illuminates the shiny streaks of her tears.

"What's ya' number?"

Steven smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was messy. i hate torturing Spinel and im afraid the next chap wont be much different for her :(


	3. Tell Me You're Trying To Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spinel returns home with far too many regrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys I KNOW its been 2 months and we already finished the Steven bomb and I missed so many holidays....but happy new years eve :))) 
> 
> really school has just been kicking my ass and this chapter was a pain to write!! good thing im on winter break. anyways sorry for the wait here u go
> 
> **also slight trigger warning for very minor self harm, see end notes if u dont want spoilers thx

Flat feet pad against worn out, rough carpet. Chipped-painted nails bitten between jittery teeth, fingers trembling against thin lips. Muttering soft words of reassurance and comfort to ease the anxiety spilling over.

"Penelope, _come on._ She'll be back soon."

Said girl stops in her pacing to glance over at the voice, to her friend propped up against the headboard of the rickety bed. Her short, blonde undercut messy from running her fingers through it. An obvious sign of the same anxiety plaguing Penelope.

"Daisy, don't act so detached. You're just as worried as I am." Penelope huffed. Her signature perfect twin buns had been picked up in a single careless bun, fingers twirling around the few free strands of baby pink hair. Out of nervous habit, her nails lightly graze down the scars covering a good portion of the left side of her face, trailing down her cheeks in jagged creases, the raised skin a shade darker than the already rich umber tone she possessed. She usually keeps a wrap around it, or a patch to keep the socket hidden, but she's comfortable around her friends enough to let it breathe. She knows they don't mind. And the added stress of the situation makes her face grow hot and causes the scars to itch.

"_Penny_," A soft voice breaks through her confliting thoughts and a dark-skinned hand comes up to pluck her fingers from her face, taking them in between thin digits. "Calm down. Don't pick at that."

Penelope turns to the girl, taking in her tired eyes and calm features, her bobbed, pastel blue hair matching well with the serene aura she emits. She's a lighter completion from Penelope, though not by much, and astonishingly stick thin, as most of them are. Even so, Penelope worries over her physique the most.

"Sorry, Luna," She mutters, crossing her arms to trap her hands. "I'm just...worried. I know this is something important for her, and it won't take five seconds. But it's been so long..." She returns to her unforgiving pacing as Luna takes the empty space beside Daisy, lowering herself into the girls open embrace.

"You know Spinel is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, Penny." Daisy says as Luna situates herself accordingly, laying her head on the blonde's shoulder, "She's gonna be fine. Nothing's gonna happen to her."

"I know _that_." Penelope sighs. "It's...the aftermath that concerns me. She's been waiting for this her entire life. What if it goes wrong? What if we can't help her? You know how she gets, she never wants to talk about how she feels," Penelope takes in a shaky breath, her one good eye clouding with worry, "What are we going to do?"

Luna plays with the sleeves of her turtleneck, worrying it between her palms, "We can't be sure what'll happen to Spinel when she comes back. But it's going to be hard either way, whether her mom reacts positively or negatively. Spinel's still going to need our help. Even if she doesn't want it. She'll break if she keeps this in."

Penelope nods. Her girlfriend was a tough person to understand. She was wonderful, and strong, and kind when the time was appropriate. But she was so closed off at the same time. It was hard enough to get Spinel to talk about her feelings, let alone gather the courage to tell her friends the crazy plan she had when she turned eighteen. She wanted to do this alone. She didn't want to drag others into her mess. But they insisted, and spent extra hours working just as she had to spare enough time and money to come out here with her. Spinel was so use to being independent, but the added comfort of the friends she's begun to call family made her feel like she couldn't live alone anymore.

Penelope breathed a sigh into her palm. "You're right. I shouldn't-I just...I'm worried about her. I'm _scared_ for her-"

Her body tenses as the doorknob to their room jingles lightly, before stopping, the noise replaced by soft, pathetic knocks. Their eyes fall onto the entrance and Penelope moves quickly to the peephole, assured that it's who they're waiting for.

She unlocks the door and swings it open, despair sinking her stomach at the sight of her girlfriend. Her reddened eyes and muddy cheeks, the blood trailing from her right hand, crusted with wounds trying to heal, thighs covered in the evidence of her marred skin.

Daisy springs upright at the sight, eyebrows pinched tight, "_Oh my god_, Spinel, what the hell happened-"

Luna's eyes widen behind her bangs, "You're bleeding-"

Penelope reaches to grab her, "_Spinel_, what did-_why're you-?"_

Though Spinel, ever talented in avoiding situations, dodges her touch and rips right past her, ignoring their protesting in an attempt to flee for the bathroom. Penelope shuts the door in time to stop her, blocking her path and curling gently fingers on her arm, careful of her grip. Spinel knows better than to shove her girlfriend off, but she does try to weasel her way out.

"_Penelope, stop_," Spinel demands, twisting away from her girlfriend's hands. Her voice sounds as scraped raw as she looks. Penelope's chest aches at the use of her first name. It was always endearments and nicknames, _baby_ and _Pinky_ and _Penny_. Never Penelope.

"Hey, _hey_, Spinel, relax," Daisy stumbles out of bed to help Penelope, her actions doing nothing to stop Spinel from shifting about. Out of them all, she's the most physically fit, years of fighting and running the streets building up a tough frame they can barely contain at times. Spinel's explosive attitude would terrify any person that knew her brutal strength, but they know Spinel would never lay a hand on them. Although, she was always sensitive about her mother and her orphaned status, and they aren't sure how violent her reaction could be because of it.

"_Lemme go_." Spinel manages through gritted teeth. Their thin hands trying to keep her grounded. Her skin's hot to the touch. Her breathing's uneven and her eyes are wild and unfocused. Penelope's fingers graze upwards, against her shoulder, only for Spinel to hiss in pain and turn away. Penelope pulls her hand back quickly as Spinel lifts her right shirt sleeve, glancing over the fresh, peeling ink covering her entire arm from the shoulder to mid-bicep.

"_Ow, _Penny-"

"I didn't mean-" Penelope interrupts herself. Spinel narrows her eyes without a word, folding down her sleeve as she turns to leave again, but Penelope catches her by the hand. She silently treads past the scraggly carpet and leads Spinel towards her previous destination, the girl complying reluctantly with sulking shoulders and stomping steps.

Daisy shoots her a concerned look before Penelope presses a finger to her lips, a quiet beg of privacy.

She ushers Spinel into the miniscule space and closes the door behind them. The bathroom's enough to fit two people, albeit with limited leg room. A decent shower and a toilet almost reaching the floor, but it works.

Spinel quickly plants herself on the closed lid, elbows digging into her knees, head buried into her hands. Her body feels heavy, mind weighing down with continous thoughts. It takes only a few minutes for a reaction, tears sliding down her cheeks again. Her eyes burn. Her breathing begins to grow labored and sharp, quick enough to cause an ache in her chest. She sniffs loudly and swallows, trying to obtain some air in any way she can.

The sound of sudden running water makes her flinch violently, her body tenser than a rubberband pulled taut. Penelope's wetting a rag underneath the spray, wringing out the excess water before turning it off. She crouches down at eye-level with Spinel. Her warm hands connnect with Spinel's arms and the girl shrinks back. She locks eyes with Penelope and her soft smile. Her hand trails down her arms, encasing Spinel's own for a moment before coming up to cup her cheek. Spinel's hot to the touch, usually tanned skin red from overexertion. Spinel squirms under her gaze; she's never taken kindly to be looked at for too long, especially in a positive light, a loving light.

Penelope takes the rag and begins to rub away at the streaky mascara, mindful of her piercings. The water does a subpar job, but they've run out of make-up wipes and couldn't afford to purches more. So Penelope wipes in slow, small circles, careful to not overestimulate the skin, taking into account the sensitivity. There's a quiet moment where Penelope simply holds her girlfriend, cleaning up the mess on her cheeks as their close vicinity causes their breath to mingle together. Spinel enjoys the closeness, the physical contact, whether she admits to it or not.

She sniffs quietly then, another trickle of tears sliding down her tired face. Penelope wipes them away with her thumbs, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Spinel doesn't meet her eyes and simply shakes her head, "Not really."

Penelope nods and stands up to wring out the rag again. The running water sounds like static in Spinel's ear, the white noise making it impossible to think.

"We shouldn't've come here." Spinel mutters then, playing with her nails, "This was a mistake."

Penelope squeezes out the rag before taking her place down beside her girlfriend again, "Do you want to leave?"

Spinel glares, the stupid anger she's been attempting to suppress resurfacing at the question. "Leave where? Leave back _home_?" She snorts, "We spent all our money on this trip, Penny. We lost _everythin_' to get here, how the hell are we gonna go home? _What damn home are we gonna go back to?"_

Penelope draws back at her outburst. Immediate regret fills Spinel. She knows better than to raise her voice. Her stupid problems shouldn't have to strip her of her morals and manners.

"I-I'm sorry..." Spinel whispers right after, clutching her girlfriends hand with the one not covered in blood. She pulls it up to her lips to kiss, drawn out and soft. Penelope smiles silently, understanding. Shame overruns Spinel's body as she chews on her lip, feeling the rag sweep over her face to catch the remaining mascara.

"I...I didn't mean...I know we spent so much to come out here." She rubs at her temples, "But it-....this shit was just a waste a' money and time, I made ya' all come out here for nothin', _I don't know why-"_ Her voice splinters off before it collapses completely. She buries her face in her hand, embarrassment coating her cheeks and ears in a red hot surge of heat at the thought of dragging her friends out here for no reason, for snapping at Penelope and letting her emotions get the better of her. Spinel's not one to show vulnerability so easily, so adapted to hiding away how she feels. But the earlier events had her wailing like a baby, crying like she's never cried before. It makes her feel childish.

"Spinel," Penelope drops the rag into the sink and rests her palm on her girlfriends knee. Sometimes too much contact makes her shy away when she's this upset, "We didn't come here for nothing. We came to support you. We wanted to be here with you. Whatever happened, good or bad, you got something out of it, did you not?"

Spinel shrugs. Despite not expecting what she was hoping to expect, she still had something to grasp onto. "Yeah, kinda, but..." Her features crumble slightly before she schools them into a tastefull expression, one that hurts to express, "_It was just so bad, Penny." _

Penelope catches Spinel as she falls apart, guiding the girls spindly limbs around her shoulders, letting her sob into her neck. The angle is odd and awkward, but they try with what they have. Penelope's heart aches. Her usually bubbly, confident girlfriend a rightful mess. The powerful persona she displays melting away.

Spinel's eyes hurt from crying, bloodshot and swollen. Her throat feels dry and sore and her head pounds with every beat of her heart. She breathes in the scent of her girlfriend, a lingering smell of slightly expensive perfume. A bottle she'd purchased for Penelope on her birthday she still uses to the day. She focuses on the birthmarks adorning her shoulder, eyes trailing up to her elegant neck, grazing across all that dark skin. She pulls away to press her forehead against the other girls. Her eyes connecting with Penelope's only functioning one.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Penelope mumbles.

A beat of silence. Spinel shuts her eyes before sighing, "Sure. But, maybe outside, I-I don't wanna leave the girls out."

Standing up makes her head spin. Black spots dancing over her vision before it clears up. Penope giggles at her girlfriend struggling to stand upright. Spinel's heart flutters at the sound.

"We should probably clean that up before we go, though." Penelope indicates to her girlfriend's beat-up hand, still stained with dried blood and caked wounds. Spinel wiggles her fingers. Penelope grimaces and turns away. She's always shied away from blood and gore and hates the mere sight of it. It was a task to just sit here with Spinel's bloody hand in between them.

"Sorry. I'll wash it up." Spinel turns on the faucet.

"And..." Penelope tugs at the corner of her girlfiend's sleeve, gently pulling it up to reveal the sore ink, biting her lip lightly, "Sorry. I just wanted to check on it. I'm sure I irritated it a bit."

Spinel looks down at the tattoo. It was a fresh start to a sleeve she was building up, just a week prior. A cover up tattoo that would do well to hide a few nasty scars she received over the course of some street fights and bad decisions. Normally, she couldn't afford expenses like this, especially not a full sleeve, but she knew a girl. A friend from a while back, with wild, dyed green hair and tattoos covering nearly her entire body that Spinel grew envious of. The original idea was to get a single tattoo, but Alex offered a sleeve free of charge. Though, the sleeve seemed appealing, free labor didn't sit well with Spinel. So they agreed to let her pay once a month, or whenever she had extra cash she could spare, which was not often. Alex was kind, though. Patient. A fresh taste in contrast to the people that usually ventured New York.

"You didn't hurt me that bad, baby, don't worry 'bout it," Spinel says quietly, seriously, eyes tracing over the black and grey monochromatic art, over detailed flowers and skulls. The skin had begun to peel and it was _hell _trying not to pick at it. Penelope's been doing a fine job from preventing that. "It's still in one piece."

Penelope scrunches her nose at the sight of the flaky skin. It manages a small smile from Spinel.

"I'll get some cream for it, then. And Daisy can get the kit for your hand," Penelope says, pressing a kiss on her girlfriends cheek before slipping out the door. Spinel's face burns as she rinses the blood off her hand, the water turning a diluted red as it swirls down the drain. Her knuckles open up and they begin to bleed again. The water burns her open flesh. She uses the same rag to wrap around her hand, holding it in place to stop the bleeding.

She returns to the main room. Luna and Penelope have settled on the bed, patient and waiting for her. Daisy seems to be digging through their luggage for the first aid kit. Luna sends them a smile as Spinel climbs atop the bed with them.

"Hey." Luna asks. Spinel only manages a meager _'sup' _as a greeting.

Penelops sits back against the headboard and Spinel lays between her thighs, head resting on her stomach and legs stretched out. She hears the sound of a bottle opening before slender fingers pull up her sleeve. Penelope lathers the tattoo in a coat of cream, carefully smoothing down the skin, as it's still new and tender and peeling. She leaves the sleeved rolled up to let the cream set and Spinel thanks her quietly, tilting her head up with her lips pouted, awaiting a kiss. Penelope gladly gifts her one with a smile.

"Hey, how was it?" Daisy says, rare but genuine concern in her voice as she returns with the cheap little box in her hands. "What happened over there?"

"Nothin' special..." Spinel lies. They don't believe her, obviously, but they don't push her to answer. The silence that follows is deafening, Spinel merely skidding her fingers across her own stomach as her friends eyes pierce her very being. It's unnerveing. Daisy takes advantage of the time by climbing onto the bed and cleaning Spinel's hand, removing the bloody rag to disinfect it. She's done this so many times it feel like second nature, the skin around Spinel's knuckles already scarred from previous brawls she's been apart of. But she wipes down the wounds with alcohol all the same.

"Jesus, Spinel, did you stick your hand in a damn blender?" Daisy murmurs, noticing the abrasions have nearly ripped the skin off completely. Spinel shrugs. Daisy rolls her eyes, covering the wounds in knuckle bandages, unaware of the dazed look in Spinel's eyes. God knows that girl isn't going to take care of them herself.

It's like pulling teeth getting Spinel to speak. But she apparently doesn't mind the pain.

_"My mom's dead."_

The word's aren't what surprise them. It's the tone that accompanies the sentence. The words come out unconsciously. Abruptly and quiet. Nonchalant, as if it weren't an end point to the answers she'd craved her entire life. Penelope stiffens underneath her, and Luna and Daisy almost get whiplash looking up so quick.

"Are you serious?" Daisy sputters.

"Yeah, _uhm_," Spinel flexes her fingers away from Daisy, moving to anxiously grab her girlfriend's hands, playing with the joints to simply feel her skin instead, "She had another kid and died tryna' push it out..."

"_Spinel_." Luna snaps.

"_She did."_ Spinel defends, mindful of the fact she was disrespecting a dead individual. No matter her being good or bad, she was still dead.

"She had...another kid?" Daisys asks tentatively. Spinel doesn't look at her, only acknowledges the question with a simple _'mhmm.' _She's not budging. Her hesitance to speak worries the girls.

Penelope then separates their hands, using her index fingers to tilt Spinel's chin up and steal her attention. "Are you alright?" She asks gently. Spinel feels indifferent about her treating her like glass.

"'M _fine_." There's a spark of fire in Spinel's eyes, "It's not like I knew her but...I'm just-_mad_, that she's gone. Like, I've been waitin' my whole life to see her and she hasn't even been here." She spits the words out like venon. "I came out all this way for her. Spent my life wonderin' what she would think a' me, what I would say to her. _How we'd fix everything_. But I just wasted my life on some nobody that_-gave up on me_, just like that."

Spinel shakes her head, bringing her attention back to her girlfriend's hands again. She feels like crying, but there's nothing left in her body to expel, "I feel like she neva' even knew I existed. Like how do you have a baby and pretend it didn't _fuckin_'..."

Her voice trials off into a sigh. Giving up on her explanation. "It just pissed me off. I don't know. She's dead, that's it, I don't care no more."

Penelope strokes her girlfriend's hair with the one Spinel isn't occupying, skimming through her baby hairs, "I'm sorry, Spinel. I know seeing her meant alot to you."

Spinel rolls her shoulder in a half-shrug, "It ain't that big a deal, Pen-"

"Don't say that," Daisy pipes in, "It _is_ a big deal. It's hard enough growing up without a family, but...you're never going to have closure because she's gone now. That's hard, Spinel." She understood the struggles of being orphaned just as Spinel had. They grew up in the system together. And although Daisy did end up being adopted, she never knew her biological parents. Spinel feels guilty for her malicious emotions towards her own dead mother for the simple fact that at least she knew _who_ her mother was. Daisy wasn't awarded that luxury.

"You don't need her, Spinel." Luna's kind voice is reassuring, "Not for any answers and not for any closure. She got pregnant and made a choice that hurt you, but you're stronger than her actions. You're strong without her."

"But what if I was _with_ her?" Spinel's voice cracks, "Wh-What if she kept me? I wouldn't have been livin' in that _shithole_ of a city, stuck in foster care with people who care more about _dogs_ than kids." She grits her teeth, "I coulda' had a _family_. I coulda' had a nice house and hot meals and a _mom_ that fuckin' _loved me."_

Penelope hushes her girlfriend's rising tone, repeating Luna's phrase. "You didn't need her Spinel. You've survived without her, you made a life without her. You didn't need her then and you don't need her now."

"_But I wanted her!"_ Spinel spits, covering her eyes before she begins crying again. They're hot, angry tears that feel like syringes being stuck in the corners of her eyes. "I-I wanted her...it doesn't matter if I needed her,_ I just wanted my mom." _She cries, her voice cracking. She whimpers at the show of her vulnerability, frustrated from crying so much. _"I just wanted her there." _

Penelope strokes her shoulder, shushing her quietly, whispering soft words close to her ear. Anything to soothe the girl. Luna crawls towards the two to place a comforting hand Spinel's knee; skin-to-skin contact was something Spinel craved during these moments, because she never thinks she deserves the comfort.

"And now we're all the way out here, with nothin' to fuckin' show for it." Spinel mutters angrily. Wiping away the tears and disregarding Penelope's earlier statement. Yes she got _something_ out of this whole ordeal, but was it worth it? Was _any _of this worth it? Could she have gone on without knowing all this and wasting everyone's time?

"Don't worry about any of that, Spinel," Daisy says, "We wanted to support you. We're just lucky we could even make it out here for you."

"But you shouldn't've had to," Spinel sniffs. "Wasted all this fuckin' money we don't got on a dumb trip for some _idiot_ that ain't even here..."

"Spinel, stop worrying about money." Penelope tries, fingers tightly on the other girl's shoulders. "You've been through a lot today, don't stress yourself out more."

"Someone's gotta, baby," Spinel hears Penelope sigh heavily through her nose, a quiet sign or irritation Spinel's grown to notice over time when Spinel gets defensive, "How are we gonna go back then? Without worryin' about expenses? _What the hell are we gonna do?" _

"You can stay with us 'till you find a place. We're always open, don't worry." Daisy suggests. Spinel glances up at her, searching for any sign than Daisy isn't truly honest about her recommendation. She's always hated moochers and people taking advantage of others with the same problem as themselves. She didn't like depending on other people who struggled just as she had. Daisy and Luna were lucky to have decent family that provided support in their education, therefore, their housing. But whether Luna and Daisy wanted them there or not, they couldn't afford two other people. Especially in a dorm room in the busiest city of the States.

"There's two beds, it's got enough space for all four of us. There's no shame in asking for help." Luna says.

Spinel shakes her head, rubbing her eye with her palm, "Guys, I don't... wanna intrude. It ain't fair...and honestly, I don't know if I wanna even go back to New York. We wasn't exactly livin' in luxury, doll." She glances up at Penelope, crooked smile on her face a stunning contrast to the streaks of tears and reddened eyes. Penelope chuckles sadly and kisses her forehead, lips lingering. They had only managed to afford a small place in the projects, straight in the heart of Brooklyn. The housing was cheap, but the location was what irritated Spinel. Penelope didn't grow up in the slums of the city. She wasn't surrounded by poverty and the violence that came with it. And Spinel loathed the fact she made her succumb to it nearly every night. Her girlfriend deserved better than those complexes. She felt ashamed for having Penelope there, even when her girlfriend reminded her there was no shame to possess. Everyone needs a home, there's no judgement in where a person needs to stay to survive. But Spinel was tired of living that life.

"They're just trying to help us until we get back on our feet." Penelope says, already seeing the wheels turning in her girlfriend's head.

"You'll be out before the RA's even notice." Daisy mentions.

Spinel debates the offer. They'd be hopping from place to place if this kept up, maybe even staying in shelters if they couldn't find a place by the end of the week. It was nasueating to even think about.

She recalls the passing thought of a white picket fence. It's image swimming in the back of her brain. Images of designer clothing and manicured nails, shoes worth as much as a new car. The women that exuded wealth.

"I think my mom's family's got money." Spinel says lowly. The three girls perk up at the mention of any events of today. They were worried Spinel wasn't ever going to open up about what she went through over there, relieved that she harbored enough trust to tell them anything at all.

"I could always steal from them." She jokes. Only slightly.

"You met her family?" Daisy cocks her head.

Spinel nods. "Yeah, they were the ones that told me she was gone. I have two gramma's, apparently. And old great-gramma's still alive." She chuckles. She's surprised her mother had the luxury of family at all. Spinel had always thought she might have been just like her, a kid with no future, alone and lost. She always hoped it's why she gave her away.

A lost look overcomes her eyes as she remembers her mother's family. She stares a hole into the wall opposite of them, eyebrows pinched together in an almost dissociative, fearful look. "I...got a little brother too."

She feels them all stare directly at her, their eyes wide and about a million questions surging through their heads. They remember mentioning her mother dying from childbirth, Spinel closing up after saying she had another kid.

"You have a brother?" Penelope asks, curling her arms around her girlfriend's torso. Spinel's trembling just a bit.

"Yeah. He's sixteen, he's got a dad, friends, family, a house..." Spinel bites her lip, "He's got _everythin_'."

"You met him? How was he?" Luna asks.

Spinel nods, "He's a sweet kid, from what I seen so far. They were fightin' over him when I showed up."

"Fighting?" Daisy crosses her legs comfortably, mindful of jostling the bed too much, "What do you mean fighting?"

"For custody, I guess. He's got these three older girls that take care a' him, I think. Some of my mom's old friends. But these old ladies want him for themselves." Spinel crosses her arms with a shrug.

"Your grandmother's?" Penelope says.

"Yep."

"Do you...think they might be able to help you out? I mean, they know you're their granddaughter."

Spinel scoffs, almost laughs at the idea. Those women were the type to be disgusted by people like Spinel. The homeless, the poor, the rebellious, tattooed, pierced kids that fought everyday to live. They didn't know a thing about survival, about suffering, about the world's cruelest misdeeds. They didn't care.

Though, that Blue one could be an exception...

"Nah, they didn't even really believe me. They think I'm lyin'."

"About their daughter being your mom?" Luna says.

"Yeah. They think I'm doin' it for their money or somethin', I don't know. They wanted me to take DNA tests tomorrow."

"Are you gonna do it?" Penelope mouths against her temple, tickling the strands of Spinel's loose hair.

Spinel leans into the touch, "Nope. I ain't got nothin' to prove to them." Truthfully, Spinel was afraid they'd find out Pia Diamond wasn't _actually_ her mother at all, and that Spinel had been following a trail that never even existed in the first place. Another part of her wanted it to be true, so she could find her _real _mom instead of the dead disappointment that left her.

"The kid gave me his number though, so I could meet them tomorrow." Spinel feels the weight of her phone in her pocket, heavier with Steven's contact in.

"And you're really not gonna go?" Daisy furrows her brows.

"No. I don't want shit to do with him, or them." Spinel hisses quielty, teeth nearly biting her tongue off, "But if ya' want, I can call them up. Go back to their place and squeeze some money outta them."

"You really think they're that rich?" Daisy lays back on the pillows, arms spread over the expanse of them as she looks at Spinel skeptically.

"I _know _they're that rich." Spinel's fingers unintentionally crawl up to pull at her necklaces, remembering the one she use to protect like a lioness.

"Y'know that necklace I had? With the heart?"

The girls nod.

"It was a hundred grand."

Daisy whistles, Luna's eyes full of bewilderment behind her bangs, "You had that much hanging around your neck this whole time?"

"Yep. And I fuckin' refused to give it up." Spinel says bitterly, "I knew it was worth a lot, but I...I just wouldn't get rid of it. We'd probably be in a different situation if I just pawned it off."

"It was a gift from your mother, Spinel. We would never have asked you to get rid of it." Penelope reassures her.

"Some fuckin' mom I had then. Thinkin' a hundred grand necklace meant shit to me, _it doesn't mean shit to me." _Spinel spits. She almost regrets those words, as the necklace and the photo were all she had from her birth mother. Her wallet felt lighter in the abscene of that picture, her neck bare without the weight. It was uncomfortable.

"You don't have to do anything if you don't want to, Spinel. We're not gonna ask you to beg them for money. We have friends here willing to help us." Penelope says, ever the lighthearted girl she is. Spinel thinks over their situation, the fact they have nowhere to go after this. She and her girlfriend don't have a home. Don't have any food, anywhere to sleep. Don't have any money. How will they go back with Luna and Daisy?

"Our offer still stands." Lunas's quiet voice pipes in.

Spinel shakes her head. She didn't want to burden their friends. Perhaps Penelope would want to go with them but...Spinel hated using others hard-earned things for herself. It just wasn't fair. They'd need some way of making a quick buck without waiting for jobs and an apartment.

And Spinel knew people. They weren't great people, certainly not moral people, but reliable nonetheless.

"We're gonna need jobs." Spinel says, "If we're gonna go back. We need one as soon as we get there."

"We'll go job hunting together. We can do it." Penelope says confidently. It makes Spinel wonder how she ever managed to have someone so wonderful and positive in her life, and how horrible she'll feel for even telling Penelope her next suggestion.

"I...I could start selling, again?" Spinel proposes quietly. There wasn't even a moment for hesitation before Penelope gently forces her chin back, making them lock eyes. There's a stubborn, determined look swimming there.

"_No." _

Spinel grimaced. The city was no saint when it came to narcotics, and Spinel managed a decent lifestyle when it came her turn to deal. Though, after meeting her girlfriend, her way of living became almost unmanageable. She didn't want Penelope in the middle of drugs and death and the other girl urged her to get away from it. But despite the immoral values that came with selling, it paid well. It could get them out of that financial block they've run into over a thousand times.

"It gets good money, Penny. It's not like I'm doin' it blindly." Spinel tries to defend.

"_No. _I told you I don't want _anything _to do with that."

"You're not gonna have anythin' to do with! It's just gonna be me-"

"Oh, so just you? Doing this by yourself? Getting hurt by yourself, trying to get us out of this mess _by yourself?" _Penelope feels her voice rise in foreign anger. Luna and Daisy stare between each other and the two girls, the air tense and awkward. It's rare that Penelope ever gets upset, "We're supposed to be in this together, Spinel."

"_And we are_-"

"It doesn't feel like it if you're thinking about going back to that."

Spinel sits up quickly then, turning around to face her girlfriend, "Baby, I'm_ tryna_ help us out. We're desperate right now. I ain't gonna do it forever, just enough to hold us over a few months."

Penelope laughs bitterly, "Are you serious? Do you know how much you can get into in a few months?"

"Do you know how much _money _I could make in a few months?"

"_I don't want us using your drug money!" _Penelope nearly shouts before composing herself fast, hands clenched to fists on the comforter. She takes a deep breath. Her expression is softer now. Gentle. Anger never suited her and she takes the fact that Spinel's on edge into consideration.

"Listen, you're upset right now, and you're not thinking straight. We'll just sleep this off, or-or we can talk all night, but I don't want you making careless decisions right now."

The tendons in Spinel's neck stand out. Why couldn't her girlfiend just see she was trying to help? "Penny, I can think for myself-"

"-that's not what I meant-"

"-nothin' bad's gonna happen! I just need a few months to hold us afloat."

Penelope's growing flustered, her cheeks warming up in frustration, "_Spinel-" _

"Sometimes, there just ain't no other way, baby. _This is what we gotta do to survive." _

"_Jesus, _Spinel, we're not in a jungle-"

"Might as well be in that fuckin' place! Ain't you tired of living like that?"

"There are other ways Spinel-"

"_What other fuckin' ways?" _

"We can find jobs-" Spinel scoffs, making Penelope's eye water slightly, "_We'll work five if we have to."_

"Penelope, _no, _this can work if you just-"

"Just _what?" _Penelope's eye begins to tint red, tears pooling in it, "Let you fall back into that habit? Let you _die?" _

Spinel seems taken back, holding her hands up slightly. Her first instinct is to hold her distressed girlfriend, but her stupid mouth doesn't connect to her stupid brain. So she stands up.

Luna grasps her hands together, gentle voice cutting in, "Wait, _Spinel wait_, maybe we should just-"

"Penny, this ain't up for debate." Spinel affirms, ignoring her friend. She manages to keep her voice calm and collected, but strict.

"So _you're_ calling the shots now?"

"_Fuckin'- _no, Penny! I'm just tryna' come up with a solution that'll keep us off the streets!"

Penelope remains quiet after that. Arms crossing firmly over her chest. Spinel could just stop here. Comfort her girlfriend and admit she's being irrational and fueled by emotions. She hears the faint voices of her friends telling her to calm down. To _stop. Stop here. Why is she still talking? Why? _

"We need the money. I'm gonna be safe this time. I ain't gonna let you or me get hurt in this."

"You said that last time..." Penelope whispers.

The voices are telling to quit it. Stop now, _stop talking. Just be quiet. _

_But she doesn't want to be quiet. This is all because of _her._ Everything's _her _fault. If she didn't abandon Spinel, if she hadn't been forgotten, if she had just been given a chance..._

_How_ _ different could things be? _

_How__ different would _she _be?_

"Do you wanna live on the streets then? _Huh?" _Spinel snaps the demands, her voice now a hairs breath away from screaming. She watches her girlfriend flinch, trembling, "Do you wanna go hungry? Do you wanna live in a fuckin' shelter with drug addicts and rapists and fuckin' staff that just _abuse you day and night?_"

The voices grow louder, and hers does too. But they're both growing muddled. Her throat begins to sting.

"I'm doing this for _us, _Penny!" Spinel wails and the vibrations of her voice make her girlfriend shrink away. It causes Spinel's heart to hammer, her face heating up. Every nerve in her body is begging her to stop.

"I need us to be okay! I need _you _to be okay! _Why-Why can't you just let me do this for you?" _

_"That's enough, Spinel!" _

It's Daisy's voice that pulls her away, that nasally, but serious tone she carries similar to a mother scolding a child. She stands in front of Spinel, blocking her from the shaking girl. The fact she had enough fear in her body to put herself between the two, as if Spinel would _ever _truly hurt Penelope, makes her stomach churn. The tears fall over Penelope's face in waves, her hands coming up to cover her ears at the other girl's incessant screaming. The terror in her eyes is something Spinel never wanted to see again and her heart sinks in knowing she was the cause of it. Penelope escapes from behind Daisy and swerves past Spinel in a blind dash to solitude, somewhere far away and safe, most likely the restroom, her muffled sobs hidden behind shaky lips.

The reality of the situation doesn't set in until after Penelope's out of sight. Spinel's breathing is ragged and rough. Chest heaving and blood rushing with adrenaline. She watches Daisy's mouth move, but no words come out. Her ears are ringing.

_How could you do that? _

_What's _ _wrong_ _ with you?_

She watches Luna scamper off the bed in the corner of her eyes towards the bathroom and her instincts scream at her to follow, body moving without control. Daisy grips her wrist hard enough to snap Spinel back into reality, the sharp pain making her twist about as she hisses her name under her breath.

"_Spinel. Don't. _Leave her alone."

_"I-" _Spinel starts, but can't finish. The guilt begins to sink in. She's beyond mortified, ashamed at the fact she caused any harm to the most important person in her life.

Her and her _stupid_ temper. Her _stupid _mouth.

"_I-I didn't mean to..." _Spinel whispered. Her eyes go blurry. She's crying again.

Daisy sighs, bring a hand up to wipe the stray tears making it down Spinel's face. They're not as loving and gentle as Penelope's, but they're better than nothing.

"I don't know why I did that. _I've never..." _Spinel's always kept her anger in check. Her temper use to expresses itself in violence and screaming, but she's learn to control it. It's been harder recently, but manageable. And it's the one thing her girlfriend had begged her to never do, to which Spinel had no trouble complying. She's never done anything like this. They don't fight like this.

But today...

"You're stressed, I get it. Today was shit and whatever happened over there didn't go the way you expected it to. I understand, Spinel," Daisy mutters softly and the disappointment in her voice is evident. Spinel grips her own arm, head hung, leaking eyes staring holes into the carpet.

"Look at me," Daisy says firmly, and Spinel does with much more hesitance than she cares to admit.

"But you don't have to take it out on her. She just wants what's best for you..."

The tears grow thicker down her face. Searing hot. She wipes them off haphazardly, too tired and upset to care anymore. Penelope was only looking out for Spinel's best interest and Spinel _yelled _at her for it, yelled at her for caring.

She feels horrible.

"'_M sorry_," The words come tumbling out, and honestly, Spinel doesn't know if she's apologizing for her actions, or for bringing them out here on a whim, or her difficulty, or her yelling. She's apologizing for all of it. She's sorry for all of it.

"I know." Daisy's hands rest on her hips. She's usually never this serious, but Spinel knows her actions are nothing to be poking fun at.

"'M going outside for a minute." Spinel says quietly afterwards, wiping her nose, "Can you check on her f'me? Please?"

"We got her, don't worry about it." Daisy nods and pats her friend's shoulder, treading past her towards the bathroom. Spinel sniffs audibly once she's gone, trembling legs taking her towards her bag on the floor near the side of their bed. An old, beat up, hot pink backpack fading with time and covered in markers and patches. She takes a packet of cigarettes from the water bottle pocket and a lighter, silently slipping outside the door of their room.

The cold air hits her like a freight train. Her skin goosebumps immediately, turning numb once the wind hits it. She leans forward on the balcony railing, flicking her lighter, the flame a comforting warmth as it burns the cigarette. She takes a deep breath. Holds the smoke until her lungs burn. She lets it escape in a rushed exhale and folds her arms over the railing, resting her head on them. Her headache's gotten worse, she's noticed, after all the drama seems to have subsided. She takes another drag to ease the tension. Mouth already growing bland and dry. Penelope hates this habit the most. It almost makes Spinel feel guilty for using it as a coping mechanism after hurting said girl.

She feels emptier than before, worse than before, if that were even possible. The day took everything and more from her. She's exhausted. She doesn't feel like herself, and she's upset about letting a woman she knew nothing about cloud her personal beliefs and impact her enough to harm her family. She hates knowing that woman must have lived a fulfilling, lavish, crazy life without ever having to worry about where she would lay her head to rest once night crept upon her. She hates knowing that woman gave her everything and more for people that weren't even her own flesh and blood. Hates knowing the single other flesh and blood Spinel had, _that little boy,_ got _everything _she ever wanted...

Spinel flicks the ashes off her cigarette. Sticking it between her lips and keeping it held tight. She pulls out her phone and quickly finds the new contact she'd entered just hours ago.

_Steven_

Her lips morph into a scowl. What made him more important than her? Did he think he was better than Spinel? Why did their mother want him? _Why didn't she want her? _

_Was she really so terrible?_

Spinel's lip trembles. What a stupid question to ask herself.

She takes one last drag of the cigarette before stubbing the hot cherry out on her palm.

* * *

After a few grueling moments were given to let everything sink in, Steven's finally able to flick off the light and climb onto the couch, fluffing his pillow and pulling the comforters over him. The couch is a bit too small for his now-larger frame, though it'll do for the meantime. They had only one spare bedroom, to which they practically beg Greg to utilize every other day, but he was insistent on his van. Blue and Jaune gladly took it and turned in a few minutes ago after brief, consoling words and goodnight kisses. They felt as tired as they looked. He, of course, offered his bedroom to Diana, knowing her tall stature wouldn't fit on the sofa and she'd much rather sleep outside than with any of his guardians.

It was hard to close his eyes and sleep. He was used to his bed and comfortable mattress. He was used to childhood ignorance and failing to see the damage his extended family had done over the course of their entire lives. _That_ he could be living without. But the events swim through his mind like aggravated piranhas. So much to process with so little time to do it in.

His grandmother's wanted to take him away.

His mom abandoned a child she had in sceret.

He had a sister.

It was all too odd and too fast for him. Nothing he could ponder or analyze quick enough to make his brain understand. He hated today and the emotional turmoil it gave him. There was a small sliver of hope in him that the entire ordeal with his sister will make the Diamonds rethink their original plan, as selfish as it sounds. Warping someone's problem into his solution. He just doesn't want his family to fall apart...

_"Steven?" _

The boy yelps in surprise, clutching the blankets to his body at the startling voice. He turns towards the familiar, thin silhouette. Her features barely visible with the moonlight seeping through the large windows.

"_Geez, _Pearl, don't do that!" Steven snaps quietly.

Pearl thinned her lips as a smile tried to overtake it. It was never hard to sneak up on the boy. "Sorry. I forgot you're so easy to startle."

Steven huffs, burrying himself in the blankets, "No I'm not."

Pearl hums in acknowledgement, patting his legs to give her room to sit. He obliges reluctantly, opting instead to sit up as the angle to communicate became awkward. His expression is neutral as their eyes meet, or try to, since the darkness makes it quite hard to see anything. And Steven's tired mind is messing with his sense of reality.

"How are you feeling?" Pearl's voice is awkward.

Steven shrugs, "Tired." He has no other way of explaining it. He would much rather have this conversation in the day as opposed to right before he went to bed. He was thinking about discussing it with Connie, but even thinking about mentioning it to her made his stomach turn. He's accepted that he just doesn't want to acknowledge this problem any more.

"Are you upset with me?" Pearl finally says, fists clenching Steven's blankets near her thighs. He rubs his eye, palms a hand over his face then, sighing.

"I don't know. Kinda?" He knows it kills Pearl to hear his disappointment, "I'm just_...yeah_, I guess I'm a little mad at you. I'm mad at a lot of people today. It's not just you."

Pearl nods. The hurt evident but she knows she wasn't expecting praise. "I understand. I-I wanted to tell you for so long, Steven. But I didn't know when, or-or _how_. Or if I should even tell you at all. I didn't know if it was my place."

"Pearl, I'm not mad that you didn't tell me." Steven shakes his head, "I'm just upset that you never got ahold of her. You knew she existed and you didn't even try to check up on her. I'm_-glad_, that I have more family, and I know it was mom's personal business. I'm _really_ tired of the secrets, but this was something different, I can undertand that. But you knew she was out there and you didn't even try to find her?"

Pearl sighs deeply. Fingers running through her hair. "I was afraid. I was only sixteen when it happened, I didn't know if she was doing the right thing or if I was doing the wrong thing by letting it happen. I_...thought _about looking for Spinel. But I never went through it. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to help her. I was hoping she was fine, perhaps adopted and living a healthy life." She clenches her fists, nails almost breaking the skin of her palm. "I could barely manage to take care of _you _and I had three other people to help me. How could I hope to care for another one of her kids?"

Steven remains quiet. It's obvious Pearl's holding a lot of baggage from the incident.

"I'm not trying to make excuses, but...I had no idea what I was doing, and I was still trying to protect your mother. I put her before others that needed me more. Spinel..._needed_ me and I had a chance to help her, but I didn't. I get sick just thinking about it," Pearl massages the side of her temple. She sounds close to tears already.

Steven releases a deep breath. It's not her fault, he knows that. He shouldn't be mad at Pearl for being so influenced by his mother. And he shouldn't be so upset with his mom either. But he's been shown that family puts family before themselves or ayone else. His mom was too afraid of her parents to keep her baby, giving her up haphazardly and willingly, and Steven really couldn't forgive her for that.

"Diana says she might not even be my sister. We'll have to wait for the tests tomorrow." Steven says instead, not quite sure what else he could add to make Pearl or himself feel better.

Pearl nods, "You're right. We don't know unless there's tests. But...I'm confident it's her."

"Me too..."

"You have her contact information, right?"

"Well, I gave her my number...I'm hoping she'll text, I want it to be her choice to come to us."

Pearl chuckles, "Aren't you sweet. Let's hope she messages you before tomorrow."

Steven nods. They share a few moments of silence, turning over the conversation in shaky, steady hands, until the boy speaks up again.

"What about the Diamonds? They...still wanna take me."

The air around Pearl changes, something dark and sour taking its place, "I'm not letting them take you. Not with all this happening. Unless, of course, you _want _to go..."

"Are you kidding me?" Steven frowns crookedly, "I-I wanna stay here, with you guys. _I'm sixteen now_. I'm not a little kid that gets all my decisions made for me. _I _want to choose. And I choose to stay here."

"Try explaining that to them." Pearl smiles tiredly. "They won't stop until they have you. But neither will I."

Steven feels a sense of relief surge through him. Talking about it felt nice. He can tell it's what Pearl needed to. He barely has enough time to accept that fact before a loud yawn escapes his mouth. Pearl chuckles lowly.

"Alright then, time for bed. We have a long day tomorrow." She says as she stands up, stretching her arms in front of her. She bends down to give Steven a quick kiss goodnight on his curly head, laughing lightly at his embarrassed demeanor. "I love you."

"Love you too." Steven manages through another yawn. He watches Pearl's form retreat to her room and burries himself back under the covers. Tomorrow holds promise of great heartache. He's willing to admit that he's afraid. He doesn't know what could happen tomorrow, and frankly, he doesn't really want to know. He's just hoping he can get through it.

Almost on the precipice of sleep, his phone decides to vibrate on the coffee table next to him. Three times, in succession, snapping him out of the trance he nearly loses himself to. He fumbles for the device and opens it up to two new messages.

Steven's eyes widen.

From:

_(Unknown)_

_hey_

_its Spinel_

_what time should i be there?_  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Spinel burns herself w a cigarette. 
> 
> Btw this human Pink Pearl spoke to me. Give the artist some love https://themadburnish.tumblr.com/post/187704752511/ive-fallen-and-cant-get-up

**Author's Note:**

> im actually V excited about this story. but i have a lot of school to do!! lol i hope i can commit. got any questions im open at my tumblr - mangosmoothies
> 
> also, this is how i picture spinel for this fic https://fuluv.tumblr.com/post/187738531088/heres-my-own-take-on-a-human-spinel-design
> 
> she cute


End file.
